6 Ways to Love your Spouse Forever

Valentine's Day! Flowers, chocolates, candlelit dinners. Romance is all around and a lot of single people are going to envy all the happy couples out there, but romance and love is not all roses and candlelight. If there is anything a long time married couple can tell you is that LOVE takes WORK. When life is on autopilot with the person you've chosen to be with forever- love will test you in more ways than going to the moon and back will. Loving someone forever begins with loving them one day at a time. Some days will be harder than you expect, but choosing to love that person means loving them everyday in everyday little ways.

1) Be intentional: Couples get stuck in a routine, a quick kiss, hug and I love you before heading out the door could be the only sign of affection in a long busy day. Which is why we need to intentionally choose to love and show love to our spouse. It could be doing the dishes because you know your wife has had a long day or cooking a special meal for your husband. It could be a simple text to say you love them or a compliment that encourages them. Whatever way you choose to show you love your spouse, be intentional in showing you love them every day.

2) Say I'm Sorry: We are flawed humans and more often than not we hurt our spouse in ways we never imagined we could.Saying sorry might be the second most important thing you say after 'I love you'. Unkind words, selfish gestures, silly arguments, bad moods, stressful days, laziness, sleeplessness all get heaped onto our spouse one day after another. Before the meltdown finally happens, say you're sorry, show you're sorry, admit the fault, let them heal. It's so hard, especially when you know you're at fault and that's the hardest part of marriage.

3) Forgive often: So you've told them a hundred times to do things a certain way. They continue to forget... over and over again. They've said sorry a million times, how many more times will you forgive them? If you're keeping count then stop. To love means to forgive, to forgive means to let go of the emotional baggage you carry when you want things to be a certain way in life.

* (When I say forgive, I don't mean don't seek help if you are stuck in a physical, verbal, financial or emotionally abusive relationship, love is not abusive, love is not controlling and if you find yourself abused then get help.)

4) Share a special routine: I know, I just said couples get stuck in routines, but routines also help you show you love your spouse even on the toughest of days. Making a cup of tea when my husband comes home from work or packing his lunch might be routine, but they are the little ways I love and care for him. I know that when my husband does the dishes or refills my water bottle at night or when he sends me funny memes they are ways he shows he loves me every day. Routines like going for a walk together or grocery shopping or praying together give you time to spend time with each other, talk about things and work on things together.

5) Be silly together: As per this article "Couples who laugh together reported higher quality relationships..." We don't need science to tell us that though, we know from experience that we love being around people who are funny and who make us laugh because laughter mostly leads to feeling happy. Do fun and silly stuff together, play loud music and dance like idiots, have a pillow fight or a water fight, tickle them, have fun together.

6) Hold hands, kiss, cuddle: It's not just about sex. For a lot of people, physical touch is their primary love language. A pat on the shoulder, a hug, a squeeze of a hand are small gestures of touch. (Click here to learn more about your love language.)

Whether or not you or your spouse's primary love language is physical touch- it is a fundamental human need. Babies actually NEED to be cuddled for them to grow. A healthy relationship needs plenty of touch to keep growing. A shoulder or foot rub after a long day, playing with their hair or just a cuddle while watching TV can keep your love going for another day.

It's nice to have a special day to shower your loved one with overpriced flowers, but there are here are a hundred different ways you can show your spouse you love them everyday that will always mean more than a Valentine's Day gift.